CATS Memories of the Past

I really enjoyed the memoir paper. I really did not hunk writing about CATS would be the functional, but surprisingly it was. I never realized how much emotion I had invested into that show and how much it changed me. The paper its self was good, but I enjoyed the process to write the paper, and how I really had to sit and visualize opening and closing night. I wanted to be as authentic as possible, so I had to let my mind take me back to July. I do not think I would revisit the paper. I am happy with how it turned out, and I do not think there was much to change or add with out making the paper boring. 
The mixed media was a pain in the ass. I had to go through profiles and numerous pages to find those two videos from CATS because they were unlisted on youtube. Also putting all the music together was a pain in the ass because I hate garage band. The only thing I would change is clean up the transitions a bit. Overall I pleased with everything.

Joe?

Rose thought that because he was in vocational education that he was not as intelligant as other people in the upper placements. When Ken said that he wanted to be the “average” guy that struck a button in Rose’s mind. If he was just this so-so student, and will only have a get by paying job then why care about school. Rose then later explains how only two of his uncles graduated high school, and no one in his family went to college. The school putting him at this education level gave him a reason just slack off and do the minimal to get by (Bridge Anyone?)

When he learned that the school made a mistake and his education did a 360 from him being able to do the minimal work to actually having to try opened his eyes. Rose and the reader saw that the quality of education being taught can change how you study or perform in school. The easier everything is the less you do and are focused, and this is vise versa. Rose getting accepted in to a private school, with the help of Mr. MacFarland, and knowing he had to work his ass off to stay there to get a higher education really helped Rose and pushed him. This allowed him to be the best he could be.

Rose did not really touch a lot on the term cue, but what really stuck with me was the comment about how you have to twist the knife in your own grey matter. I think it is like when you are with certain people, or in a certain situation you have to alter who you are as a person.

When a person is buzzed at a party, but all of his friends are black out drunk, he takes it as a cue to alter how he acts to fit in with what they are doing. Also like Rose says “act stoned when your not, or act more stoned than what you really are.” This social “cues” affect everyone, and how they act.

The Bored Times of Bronte and Keeton

We Were Born This Way

I don't agree that being transgender is a disorder. Zucker is a tool! He is going to use his personal thoughts and views to NOT change the Manual of Mental Disorder and take transgender out in 2012. Research is showing that it is a hormonal imbalance and is hardwired into the brain. This also goes for homosexuality. I also do not agree with Dr. Money and his "experiment". The fact that for his on research e is going to tell a family to change their son to a girl because of something that went wrong is crazy. Why not reconstruct the penis? I wonder does the family blames Money for the suicide of their "daughter"? The positive to this shows that sexuality and gender identity is not about whats physical their or what society says or does, but mentally.


I think people reject the idea that being transgender is a "disorder" because through research is has been proven that it is involved with the brain. The study in the Nature shows that particular regions of the brain are similar in size to women. The fact that this is also true for homosexual people just adds to this statement. 


I applaud Tina for allowing her son to live life as a girl. I think after the conference Tina knew if this is who Brandon wants to be, then he should be able to live his life as Bridget. I really enjoyed when Tina took Brandon out to Macys to go get a new bathing suit for the pool party at the convention. When she really showed Brandon that she was serious about allowing him to get a girls suit and Bill helping him pick one out, just shows that Tina and Bill are really trying to support this and accept it. I think Rosin's views and emotions were mixed. She really starts to care for Brandon and his family, or maybe she just wants a good story. She is deeply invested into finding out what science says about this and how it could affect Brandon in the long run. Also I think it really makes her think what would she do if her child is born as a homosexual or transgender. I just don't like how she ended her article. It seems very unfinished in a way. I see how it ends in a way to give you a feeling that Tina is accepting Brandon for who is and continues on with life.


Growing up gay people always asked "Were you always gay?" I just wanted to hit them in the face! Thats like me asking "Were you always a Girl/Guy?" I know some people think that homosexuality is a choice, but its not. I was always different in school and side elementary  school was bullied and called gay. I was told gay meant happy, so most of the time I said yes. Secretly I always liked guys. I used to "experiment" with my old childhood friend. It wasn't until junior high when I fully understood and realized the other meaning of gay. To answer everyones question Yes I always knew I was gay. 

THE WORLD IS FUCKED!!!

I thought the essay was very insightful. Even though it was written in 1989 it still describes todays society. Obviously not much has changed and we are all FUCKED! I  thought the essay was very insightful. Even though it was written in 1989 it still describes todays society. Obviously not much has changed and we are all FUCKED! I really enjoyed how Aaron Devor started off with how gender identity is formed, then showed how its developed in children, and ending with adulthood.

What I took from the childhood section is that its really the time for parents and society to model children into what they should and should not be. Everyone knows that children are more malleable and that they can form their ideal "socially acceptable" child. I think this is BULLSHIT!!!!!! Children should be taught who is male and female, but be allowed to develop into who they were born to be.

I know as a child I used to play with toy cars  and trucks, but I also played with the Spice Girls barbies.

I also used to sing and dance to Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, and of course The Spice Girls. What's wrong with that? They were my 90s! Some reason it was allowed. I think it was because my mom wanted me to learn, and allow me to be me.

Now a days it is still frowned upon and criticized. The only true change is that more feminine men are called faggots, fags, girlie boy, so basically cruel hateful words. Women on the other hand who are more masculine are called dikes. Society sees being a homosexual is an unnormal thing. We were BORN THIS WAY!Society needs to wake up and see what the world is becoming. 

ITs funny that I'm actually talking about this because before I read this essay, before I wrote this blog. I read an article online about Jamie Hubley who committed suicide (10/15/2011) due to bulling at school. In the article it said 20% of HS think about committing suicide and LGBT students are 8.4 times more likely to carry through with it.

Here is Jamie Hubleys Tumbler. He posted His last post the night he died. ! I really enjoyed how Aaron 

Courtney this is for you

NEW Flickr video

Flickr

My body is MY BODY!

In a society were looks are basically everything, I don't have them. I hear the words you're hot, cute, sexy, or whatever, but in my eyes I think I'm good looking, but not hot or sexy.


Skin and Color:
Well I am basically pale compared to my family. I tan sometimes and i usually burn or get a little color and I mean a little color. My family is part indian, my mom is dark, but my dad is white, so i got stuck in the middle with more white complex. Also my skin imperfections, acne, blackheads, dry skin. It all adds up in the end. I tend to do a good job in taking care of my skin, but sometimes it gets a head of me. Some mornings I wake up and look at my face and want to crawl back to bed until it looks better to me, others I get really excited because my face starts to clear up. 


Size:
I think I'm actually a good average height. Im about 5 foot 10.5 inches and slender. I won't say skinny because Im not, nor am i over weight. I don't have the washboard abs or huge muscles that society wants every guy to have. One thing I do like about my size is my legs because they have some good muscles on them and I like to thank dancing for that. 


Looks:
I have always been changing looks since I was a baby. When i was a newborn i was chubby and I mean FAT!!! I started to lose all the baby fat as I grew up and became active in soccer and tumbling, but when i stopped doing both those activities my body went to shit and i started to gain weight. I only noticed this one summer when i was looking through picture my mom took of me out swimming in our lake and I saw all this flab. I started to exercise a lot more to keep the weight. I also loved to change my hair color and I still do. I have had several hair colors from Black to orange to blonde, or from yellow to red. Ive done a lot to my hair. No one ever understood why, or liked it but I see hair as hair and it deserves to change. I am always changing my looks everyday because I get bored easily.






At the end of the day i can tell you all about my body, but my body is me and its who I am. If you don't like it then move on. I respect who I am and who other people are. Fuck Capitalism and Society!

Saw this on Facebook

The Story Of Aaron

THIS IS A REALLY ROUGH EDIT!!!!!!

He leaned in and kissed me. Aaron's kiss was not hard, nor soft, but just right. He kissed me enough were I got what I wanted and was satisfied, but left me wanting more. His kiss felt so right, so passionate, so magical. I knew at that point my world was changing, but I never knew how much one kiss could change me. We continued to dance with each other for another hour. We talked, laughed, kissed, and admired each other. When I danced with him it was like the rest of the club was a blur to me. No one else mattered, I got what i had my eye set out for and I was pleased. Every so often he would wipe my sweat off his face. I was embarrassed by this because being a dancer I intake a lot of water so I naturally sweat a lot. "Sorry I'm getting all my sweat on you." I would yell in his ear "I like it, it's cute." He replied. When he say that I got the biggest grin on my face and blushed brighter than a red delicious apple. Every couple of songs we would make our way outside to get some air and also because Taylor wanted to smoke. His friends came outside with us and we all started to chat about school and what we were going to do after we left Wild Thursdays. Aaron and his friends had plans to go to boystown to get food. I desperately wanted to go with him, but I tried to play it cool. Honestly I wanted to go home and sleep and wanted him to come with me, but he was with his friends, and plus we just met. After chit chatting outside we went back in and contained to dance but this time Aaron leaned against the wall by the stage and I grinded on him. We did not dance much longer because it was almost 2 AM, and everyone was ready to go. When we left the club Taylor decided to ride the green line back to the dorm because she was tired. Staci decided to go with me and Aaron's friends to get food. We had to walk Tova's car, which he had no idea where it was. Aaron called his sister and she was already in her friend Brittney's car heading back to the club, so we decided to meet them there and they could take us to Tova's car. Brittney came flying down the road running a stop sign. This girl is wasted beyond belief and guess what an officer pulls up beside her and asks her if she realized she was seeding and ran not one, but two stop signs. She obviously replied she did not see the stop signs and apologized for speeding. The cop let her go and you want to know why, because her tits were basically hanging out of her strapless dress. Staci, Aaron, Jessica, and I all piled into his sisters friend car and went to Tova's car. Staci and I both suggested that we someone else should drive because she was not capable of driving, but this girl rudely refused saying it was her car and she was driving.  SHe sped off and went to Tova's car and that is when the group had to split. Staci and Jessica went to Tova's car and Aaron was staying with his sister. I really wanted to go with Staci because she is my friend, and I did not want ride in a car with a drunk chick driving. Aaron pleaded and begged me to ride with him. "Please ride with me Keeton. I can't leave my sister alone in this car." He looked at me and gave that puppy dog look. I could not refuse him. I knew in my head it was a stupid choice, but if it was my brother I would have done the same. Staci understood, or at least I hope she did. We sped off to boys town to go get food and  was I scared shitless the whole way there. When we arrived in boystown Staci decided to leave me and go back to the dorm. No one knew where to eat, so I suggested that we go to Ihop and some people agreed with me and others did not, but that’s were we started to walk. The group decided if they found somewhere better that would want to go there. As we were walking to Ihop on Halstad these two guys started to talk shit about the clothes Aaron's sister was wearing calling her a Hollister wearing pre-teen. I started to get furious because Aaron was not going to say anything, so I did. I told them to back off and leave her alone. I got a threat from one of the guys and I almost threw a punch, but  luckily Aaron grabbed my arm and forced me to keep walking. " I don't know what came over me, I just got really protective for some reason." Aaron just smiled at me "Well at least you know I'll protect you if I ever have to." Aaron leaned in a kissed me again "Thanks." We kept walking and we came across this mexican fast foodish restaurant and that is were everyone wanted to eat. This place was packed with people, mostly drunk, but still people. Everyone got food except me, and Aaron even offered to pay. I do not know if it was because I was trying to be nice, because I was hungry, or because we were alone. All of Aaron’s friends were sitting in one booth in the back of the building while Aaron, his sister and I were sitting closer to the door. We were sitting there just making light chit chat and then she started to question me. She asked questions like was i single, did i go to school, where am I from, and if I like her brother. I was shocked and confused, but she approved of me, like I care what she thinks.